I am not a critic.

I am a movie lover.

So if I sound biased I probably am. Sorry…



Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015) Review

“Is it good?” That’s what people always want to know, isn’t it? That single question is really the only thing that really matters, whether we’re talking movies, music, videogames, food, or life itself.  It is the dividing line between triumphant success and crushing failure, between Joss Whedon and Ed Wood.

tor johnson

Plan 9 from Outer Space was kinda like the first Avengers. There are aliens in both movies, and Tor Johnson is basically The Hulk.

So, is Avengers 2: Electric Bugaloo any good? Oh yes. It’s very good.

If you were a rabid fan of the first Avengers, then viewing the sequel will be a religious experience. You will have a Jim Carey seizure of joy in your theatre seat. The hype is real. It’s a feeling of pure, sugary excitement that’s nearly impossible for the uninitiated to comprehend. If you don’t know, you’ll never know. Do yah feel me, brah?

“I feel yah, home-slice.”

But that’s the funny thing about mankind—besides our baffling inclination to draw sexy versions of cartoon characters—we aren’t content to simply know that something is good. We want to know why it’s good. So that means I have to keep writing this article and explain some stuff. But first, what’s the plot. Who cares!? An eight-foot-tall James Spader is trying to destroy the world and the Avengers are trying to stop him, that’s all you really need to know.

Spader Ultron

Bonus points to whoever decided to add “Spader Lips” to Ultron’s design.

It may sound paradoxical, but Avengers 2: Reloaded is dumb fun with a brain. We live in a glorious time where ridiculous blockbusters are being treated with the same loving care as a dramatic tearjerker about…I don’t know, struggling with Alzheimer’s or something equally depressing. Watching super-heroes punch robots until they shatter into metallic cornflakes will always be awesome, but in this case, we actually care about the people getting into fisticuffs with death machines. That is what elevates Avengers 2: Love Never Dies to a higher level of entertainment.

Director/writer Joss Whedon deserves a Mega-Oscar. The man understands character dynamics better than most people understand their children.


Only Twitter is beyond his power.

For Avengers 2: Back in Business he has crafted some truly electric dialogue that crackles with hilarious quips and infectious camaraderie. Seemingly throwaway moments such as Iron Man and Thor bickering over who has the better girlfriend, or Hawkeye getting existential and quite Meta when he considers that he’s an archer amongst demi-gods do a lot to humanize the characters.

As Andre from the YouTube channel Black Nerd Comedy put it:

“You know it’s crazy when you’re in a super hero movie and you want to see more of the characters talking than fighting.”

Besides Joss Whedon’s excellent writing, a major reason most of us feel such a connection to the Avengers is because of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. For almost seven years, over the span of roughly eight movies, audiences have been building a rapport with these characters. That’s a long time! The more time you spend with someone the deeper your bond will grow, even if the other person is a fictional character.

Photoshop Waifu

Scratch that, especially if it’s a fictional character.

A lot happens in Avengers 2: Catching Fire. And I mean a lot! It’s basically the Cloud Atlas of super hero movies. For this reason, a major complaint is that some of the plot developments feel a bit rushed. This isn’t surprising since the original cut of the movie was three hours long and the theatrical release is roughly an hour shorter. (Putting this into perspective, it’d be like if the Hobbit movie startedsomewhere in the first half of act one. Hey-yo!) You’re going to lose a few details. However, I think this problem is relatively minor. Everything that might have benefited from a little more buildup still has some justification for happening, however slight.

Robert and John

Bruce: “Hey Tony, maybe playing God isn’t such a great idea.” Tony: “YOLO!”

For example, even though Ultron does basically go from “gaining sentience” to “genocidal maniac” in a matter of seconds, you have to take into account his unlimited access to the internet. He is able to download knowledge about literally everything imaginable. Decision making comes a teensy bit faster when you’re omniscient. Besides, in Ultron’s defense, all I have to do is visit a website’s comment section before I start plotting the destruction of humanity. I can totally see where he’s coming from.

The positive side to having such a dense and busy movie is that you’ll never be bored. You’ll be laughing one moment and in awe the next or you might even be in awe while you’re laughing. The action scenes are bombastic works of art and the characters are always endearing. My compliments to Joss Whedon, the entire production crew and the talented cast. You knocked it out of the park.

I give this movie: five hypnotic James Spader monologues out of five.

(P.S. Hawkeye is best Avenger.)

Sassy Hawkeye